In a departure from the usual techy stuff, I'm going to post
about something quite close to my heart. Staying positive. I'm
quite an upbeat and positive person, but that wasn't always the
case. It took borderline work burnout and serious illness to get me
to sort my shit out.
So, a bit of background. Back in early 2005, I'd pretty much
burnt myself out working myself to the bone as the lead programmer
at an ambitious startup, for an extremely demanding boss. I was so
miserable, that I seriously considered sacking off web development
entirely, and retraining to do something completely different (top
of my list was touring road crew, but the missus vetoed that
one).
Several of my self employed friends (none of whom work in web)
inspired me to try my hand at freelance, it was something that I'd
always fancied, but I didn't think I was good enough. After a
couple of months, I'd fallen back in live with web dev, and I
realised it was the toxic working environment that burnt me out,
not the industry. All was good, until I got ill. I had a wracking
cough that just wouldn't quit, and I had no energy. For almost a
year, I was a complete medical mystery, until in 2006, after some
surgical exploration, I was diagnosed with Stage IVB Hodgkins
Lymphoma (an immune system Cancer). As bad new goes, that's up
there with "yup, your house is built on a spooky burial
ground".
It was at this point, I started my journey to being more
positive. 12 months of being a medical mystery is RUBBISH. Had I
been any good at music, I'd have written some killer blues songs.
As I led in bed with the Oncologist explaining my diagnosis, I was
actually happy, I think he thought I'd lost the plot. But actually
finding out that my illness had a name, and could be fought was
enormously liberating. From that point on, I focused on the
positives. Throughout the six months of chemo I had, I remained
positive and upbeat, much more so than I would have imagined
possible. Having a health scare like that really made me focus on
what was actually important. I've learnt a lot from the experience,
and some of the inspiring people that I met along the way.
Right, enough background! Staying positive is all about
realising what's important, what you do and don't have control
over, and looking for the opportunity when things go bad.
Realising What's Important
We live in extremely information rich times. Most of us carry
devices around in our pockets that are more powerful than the first
7/8 computers I owned, COMBINED. The entirety of the internet is at
our fingertips, and it's easy to get overloaded with information,
making it hard to focus on what really matters. It works for work
as well as personal stuff. Learn to filter out the stuff that
doesn't matter and focus on the things that do. Stop spending all
your time reading about other people's lives, and concentrate on
your own.
With work it's easy to get caught up in the bigger picture and
get sidetracked. Break your project down into smaller parts so you
can concentrate on the individual pieces and it gets simpler. Also,
learn to filter the important stuff from a client brief. It's
sometimes easy to get really caught up on a feature that's actually
pretty inconsequential.
Control
People have a tendency to stress about things they have
absolutely no control over, and worry about some nebulous future
event. I find the trick is to focus on what you're doing now. It's also important to realise
that there are some things you have very little control over and
just accept it and take charge of the things that you can.
One example of this would be me worrying about relapse. I know
people who have literally lost their mind worrying about getting
ill again after recovering from Cancer. They constantly fret about
every little thing they do, terrified that they're making it more
likely they'll get sick again. I look at it this way, as long as I
avoid anything too stupid (smoking, hanging out in chemical plants
without a mask, swimming in Benzene), I'm probably good. I'd rather
enjoy the extra time I have, than lock myself up an be paralyzed
with fear about being ill again.
You can plan for some eventualities, but accept that sometimes
things happen for no real reason!
Look for the Opportunity
One of the things I learnt early on was to look for the
positives in the bad. I got diagnosed with Cancer, I could easily
have collapsed in a weeping heap and spent the next 6 months
rocking backwards and forwards. I admit, I cried a bit, but I also
saw my diagnosis as a positive step on the way to recovery.
Been laid off? Take it as a sign that it's time to move on.
Upskill and move on to better things, don't waste your energy being
bitter and focusing on the past. Project didn't work out as well as
hoped? Look for the bits that DID work and take those away as
something you can use next time.
Perspective
Finally, one thing that really helps is to have some
perspective. For the majority of us, what we do isn't life and
death. If a menu doesn't line up perfectly in IE8, no one is going
to die (except maybe the IE devs, as they get hunted down by
disgruntled web devs, one by one). Sure, you should fix it, but
it's not worth getting super stressed over.
Make sure that you take a step back every now and again and have
some you time. As an industry, web dev is close to game dev for the
amount of crazy overtime that's expected, often down to poor
planning or lack of resources. Take a step back every now and again
and do something you want to do for you. Since I hit remission,
I've tried to do at least one thing a year that I've always wanted
to do, and man does it recharge my batteries. I learnt to snowboard
at 30 (and I love it), I taught myself SLR photography and I even
climbed Mount Fuji in Japan (something I've wanted to do since
forever). When I come back from a week on the slopes, my creative
batteries are fully recharged, and I feel amazing. It doesn't even
have to be that exciting, go for regular walks in the countryside,
take up cycling, it all helps :)
I realise that a lot of this is probably obvious to most people,
but it's surprising how many people I come across in web dev
who get burnt out, often for the same reasons each time. I hope
this helps someone, or at least gives them some food for
thought!